Saturday, October 27, 2007

emcee


"Thank you all for coming to my birthday party."


Remember that one time when Rachel asked me to emcee her wedding reception and I pretended it was my birthday and everyone laughed except for grandma who actually believed me and started thinking what she could give me for a birthday present and ended up slipping me a twenty in the food line with a wink that was supposed to say it all and I thought "it all" was a tip for doing such a snazzy job at the mic all night and then I found out by eavesdropping that she meant it as a birthday present and then I spent it on root beer right away so I wouldn't have it to give back to her once someone told her the truth but then Rachel got all ticked off at me and said I was like ruining her wedding and pretty much her whole life by being a jerk to grandma about the money and the one thing I couldn't live with was ruining Rachel's whole life so I offered grandma one of the root beers and she got mad and threw it in the trash but it missed the trash and broke on the floor next to the table holding the wedding cake and dad slipped on the root beer and knocked over the cake and then I thought for sure I had ruined Rachel's life except that everyone burst out laughing when they saw dad with cake all over his tux and in his hair like he had just aged thirty years and grandma put her arm around me and laughed and cried and laughed and cried until Rachel started laughing and crying too and started messing up all her make-up from crying and got mad again?


Yeah, that was a good time. And I don't even care that Rachel says that will be the last time she asks me to emcee her wedding reception.

5 comments:

bex said...

Joe, somehow I don't remember you looking that buff the last time I saw you.

quil said...

Bex, don't tell--I had a battery powered hair-dryer up my sleeve all night.

yours truly,
Bones

Sarah said...

Did all that really happen..lol?

amanda said...

awesome. how did i miss out on that story? i'm not surprised by the hair dryer...you've totally used that one before.

littlercas said...

Joe- if this gets out, people are going to think that I actually yell when I get mad. We can't have people think that. Did you think about the possible ramifications on my reputation by this post? But anyway, I wonder what I would have done if any of what you wrote had happened. You're right, I would have fired you from emceeing. :)