retribution

I should pay for what I've done

And she will make me pay it.

For each time I concealed a gun

she will make me pay.

I should lose what I hold dear

And she will make me lose it.

For every sadness, every tear

she will make me lose.

I should fear deep loneliness

And she will make me fear it.

For all the apprehensiveness

she will make me fear.

I should feel the pain she felt

And she will make me feel it.

For each touch stolen, each touch dealt

she will make me feel.

miss someone

motivation to stay active, busy, focused--

miss someone.

miss someone so much it hurts to stand still.
so much it hurts to leave any of your faculties alone
to inflict the pain they want.
so much the dagger of a deadline cuts shallow
compared to the axe of absence.
so much you fear the moments of rest
or the loose wandering before sleep.
so much you focus, you focus, you . . .

you still miss someone.